Finding someone to become friends with is pretty easy once you’ve decided what kind of friend you’re looking for. It helps further if you make a list of characteristics or hobbies you hope to share, as this will narrow down your search. This particular How-to is about converting an acquaintance from simple exchanges to actually being someone you can call up and hang out with.
If you picked a particular hobby, that really narrows down your search! Picking something you’ve never done before can be exciting for both parties, so keep your options open. Let’s say you pick rock climbing. What does rock climbing require? An interest in physical endeavors, maybe a little excitement, possibly being a bit social, physical prowess would help for sure! So that would say that you should pick someone who you know that you think might be interested in that topic.
To break this down to its fundamentals, what you want to do is to provide value to this would-be friend by inviting them to do something that might interest them. Value can be defined as anything that someone wants, whether it’s to talk about generators, or to experience new things. Every social interaction has to do with value on some level, but most aren’t aware of it.
When thinking of which activity you want to pick, you should make a list of what would be make someone more likely to want to do that activity. Here is a list of characteristics you might want to take into consideration when narrowing down the acquaintance you want to befriend:
How to Find Friends
1) How you know them: Do you know them through this really crazy, wild guy who loves to get trashed all the time? Do they appear to like similar things? This may be something to take into consideration when choosing who you’d like to invite out. Keep in mind that people can surprise you! The girl who has a lot of tattoos and piercings may be really nice and soft spoken!
2) Extroversion/introversion: Are you really into Dungeons and Dragons? Is this the activity you want to invite them to? Chances are you might have more luck with an introvert, but don’t rule anyone out. Just be sure to own whatever you’re inviting them to. “You want ME to go LARPing??” “Yeah man, you’ve never tried it before? It’s pretty fun”. Just go with it!
3) Physique: Are they really overweight? You may not want to invite them to go rock climbing, but maybe something that would appeal to them.
4) Gender: Just keep in mind that gender may play a role in what you want to do. Women tend to like to communicate and connect more, men tend to like to work on something together, or compete. Remember that these are just general tendencies and should not be the entire basis of your decision
5) Whether you want to hang out with them: believe it or not, some people are so lonely that they can be desperate to hang out with anyone. Is this guy popular, but treats you like a douche? Time to write him off. You want to hang out with someone who treats you with respect, and as an equal. If you couldn’t stand talking to them for a few minutes, you may want to reconsider your choice.
Now that you’ve gone through your group of friends, there is a chance that you can’t think of anyone you’d want to hang out with. Rest assured this is normal, and there’s an easy solution to that as well! What you need is my other post on How to make new friends!
I hope you enjoyed my article on how to make friends! Have a great day and get befriending!
