Knowing how to text a girl you like isn’t always easy. Theoretically it’s very easy to understand and learn but in reality there are a lot of difficult factors for you to learn to control and it takes practice. If you have read through my lessons then you are already on your way. Now I am going to help you learn how to stop being a nice guy and give you an even more in depth understanding to truly help you master what not to text a girl.
What is a Nice Guy?
- Believes that if they are good, giving, and caring, that they will get happiness, love and fulfillment in return
- They offer to do things for a girl they hardly know that they wouldn’t normally do for just anybody else they know
- They avoid conflict by withholding their opinions or even become agreeable with her when they don’t actually agree
- They try to fix and take care of her problems, they are drawn to trying to help
- They seek approval from others
- They try to hide their perceived flaws and mistakes
- They are always looking for the “right” way to do things
- They tend to analyze rather than feel
- They have difficulty making their needs a priority
- They are often emotionally dependent on their partner
How to Stop Being a Nice Guy
This does not mean being a jerk! I can never say this enough. Whenever I tell a girl I think it’s good advice for a guy to not be too nice she will usually say something like “whhhhattt?! I don’t want to date a jerk”. Then I describe what I mean by too nice. The guy will put her on a pedestal, sure that is fine sometimes, but he will do this to a girl he hardly knows. He treats her differently than he would anyone else, EVEN his friends! Without justification he lowers himself by giving everything he has to the girl; not literally emptying his bank accounts to her but he wants to be nice to her and ends up being too nice. After I describe what a “Nice Guy” is the girl usually immediately says something like “eeek I hate when guys are like that”. Every girl has met nice guys before and those nice guys usually make the mistake of being too nice and don’t even know.
In order to be a master in knowing how to text a girl you like the first step is being able to avoid being the nice guy. I have found one of the best ways to learn how to avoid being too nice is to be more aware of how you treat everyone and how you treat girls you like.
It is so easy to lower your own value when you find a girl really attractive. It is natural to want her to like you and nice guys just happened to have been unconsciously trained as they grow up to act in these ways. It is not even about what she has done to earn anything from you but if you truly want to be a good person and be nice in good ways however you must understand this kind of behavior inevitably turns girls off.
You may find as I found long ago that no matter how hard you try and how nice you are things just don’t seem to go your way and girls just don’t seem to like you. This is really an unfortunate situation. Many guys are victim to being a nice guy. While being a nice guy sounds like a good way to be in theory it is just as bad as being a jerk.
The first step for me was when I wanted to buy a girl I had recently met a gift to give her when we met for our first date. I told my friend, a girl, what I got for my date and that I thought she would think it was so cute. My friend told me straight out not to give it to her and asked me why I thought it was a good idea. I went over it again and again in my mind and I couldn’t think of any case where giving to someone was a bad thing. My friend explained to me that she had done nothing to earn this kind of treatment and the context of our date also did not contribute a good reason to give a gift. I had never seen what I had been shown that day and for the last two years I am very grateful that someone finally made me aware that I was also a nice guy. About a year after that even though I had improved a lot and moved far away from being a nice guy I came across a magical book that helped me learn so much more about the topic; what causes it, what it is, how to cure it. The book is amazing. It is called No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover.
There is a solution!
While the book No More Mr. Nice Guy gives a more in depth to help you stop being the nice guy. It includes an easy to follow solution The following is what worked for me I’m sure it will get you started in the right direction.
How to Stop Being a Nice Guy
- Reread the signs of being a “Nice Guy” at the start of the post
- Really identify which apply to you most
- As you interact with people and girls pay attention to yourself doing each of these things
- Test out how it feels to move away from each of these behaviors
- Example: Instead of being agreeable try saying something like “Really?! Ice cream is your favorite desert?! You must have never tried cheesecake ”
- Really pay attention to how you interact with people and look for each of the nice guy behaviors!
- Over time you will start to develop a stronger personality and gain a deep understanding of how to be nice without being a nice guy and without being a jerk
- Read this post by Diggy 25 things i would tell my younger self.
This was one of the biggest steps in learning how to text a girl you like. I hope you found this information useful .
Thank you for reading my post on how to stop being a nice guy.
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