Question by SAZ12: should i be worried that my boyfriend is texting another girl?
My boyfriend of 3 and a half years cheated on me 2 years ago and I decided to give him another chance. It was difficult at first trying to trust him again but eventually I managed to start to do this. Recently he has been on a few work nights out and I found out he has been texting this girl who he worked with, when I confronted him he said they were just friends and when I read the messages they were just friendly the only ones I thought were more was when he was saying how it was so great to see her again. Also the texts were on a regular basis. He often gets invited out with his old work mates and I cant help but worry that he might cheat on me again. Is this me being paranoid or am I right to feel threatened by her?
Best answer:
Answer by Whitney
When trust is lost in the relationship, it shouldn’t be a relationship. You have every right to be paranoid and feel threatened.
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You’re jealous. I text a lot of people daily, guys, girls, he needs more then you.
If he cheats on you again, then find someone new, simple as that.
Hmmm…a little bit of both.
you have to follow your instincts here. It’s normal to be uncomfortable, you just have to gauge if it’s you being worried about the past repeating itself or if it’s the past possibly repeating itself.
This has happened to me before, except me and my ex weren’t going out as long as you guys. He cheated on me and I was always suspicious- and I had every right to be, he was cheating.
You either have to trust him 100% or get out of there. Its no fun worrying- because either he is cheating or your not trusting him because of your old suspicions.
I’d just tell him whats going on- that you feel you can’t trust him and whats happening with this girl. Truth is he probably shouldn’t be texting girls, why does he have to text her on a regular basis?
goodluck beautiful, hope everything gets sorted out xx
Once a guy cheats.. you are always going to have that paranoia.. and while he has the right to have friends, he kinda lost some rights to have girl-friends.
My thing is… if my man is texting other girls as long as I get to meet them and see who they are and what they are about then that takes the mystery away.
I agree to previous answer..
Once you lost trust it is difficult to gain back indeed.. However, if he truly loves you it is hes duty not to make you feel this way again.. Personally, I think if you are feeling this way again you may be right and will happen always…
But if hes open about her by telling you everything, since you worry, it is still better…
But it doesnt sound like it…
he did it once… there’s nothing stopping him from doing it again… think of it this way: he cheated on you, and you got back with him, so now he thinks he can do it again and you will get back with him… there’s nothing wrong with people having friends of the opposite sex, but since he has a history of cheating… you have every right not to trust him… if you are paranoid… you will probably always be paranoid. it would be best if you broke up with him again, but for good. there is no trust, and things will never be any as long as this relationship lasts. end it before you get hurt again
girl, you are not being paranoid..u are a concerned girlfriend who’s walking on eggshells about her heart.. i dont blame u at all 4 being worried.. i think you should just see how things go and let your man know that if he plans on cheating you again, he needs 2 leave you alone bcz you’re not going down that road again..my friend went through the same thing, so ima tell you wat i told her,.sit back, observe and just watch your man..sometimes men cant express themselves or their feelings, so u have 2 watch their actions 2 see what they’re tryna tell u..so just kick back, relax, and get your inspector gadget mojo on girl! lo!l i hope i could help!
Can I share my story related to your situation? I’ve recently been cheated on by my boyfriend (he’s my ex now). It started with the usual good first impression (I gotta admit, that beotch IS good looking and she’s a fun girl too!), then it continued to writing on each other’s walls on Facebook, then continued to texting. I think it’s good that you notice this thing early. I caught it way too late in the game. My ex had already gotten to like that beotch. The rest was history.
I think what you should do is :
1. No matter what he says, stay cautious. But don’t worry too much (or at least don’t show him that you’re actually worried). Showing your insecurities aren’t exactly turn ons. Instead, strengthen your position by making him fall in love with you all over again. You know, a reminder why he’s a darn lucky guy to have you.
2. Take a few precautions, like do a little research about that girl. Share your situation with a few trusted friends (preferably his friends) so that they understand your position and subconsciously start keeping an eye on your man.
3. Also, I find it effective to drop a subtle warnings in the form of a relaxed statement. Like, “okay, have a great night out with your office friends, sweetie. just don’t get too drunk and flirt with the hotties, okay? you know how good I am with food poisoning” –> Okay I’m kidding. The point is, when you do warn him, be subtle and be tactful. But make sure you DO warn him. Every man needs a leash at some point.
Good luck, dear. I hope you don’t end up like me! :’)
Personally if I were u I’d be a little pissed, the whole it’s great to see you seems a little much, there’s just some things u don’t say and to me that seems like they got something a bit more then just friendship. .would u say be talking to u man who’s taken like that? Investigate girl!!!