Having trouble with knowing how to text a girl you like is often an emotional roller coaster and confusing to a lot of guys. Knowing how long to wait before texting a girl back is another common problem many guys experience difficulty with. Before I started learning how to interact with people and girls more effectively I had so much trouble with knowing when to text back. I would always feel weird about texting back too soon but I often couldn’t stop myself from responding right away. I always used to text back right away and I always hated that girls would take so long to get back to me. In this post I am going to cover the extremely common question of when do I text her?
How to text a girl you like –When Do I Text Her?
When do I Text her back?! I don’t want to seem too needy! I don’t feel comfortable waiting to respond if I don’t have to. Have you ever had thoughts like this running through your head as you try to think of what to text a girl you like? Do you text back right away and then feel insecure when she doesn’t do the same? If the above sounds like something you have been through then you will really appreciate this post.
When texting a girl you like your main goal is to build attraction so she will like you too. Unfortunately while it seems logical and even polite to respond as soon as you can you do not want to seem to be too available just for her.
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When Do I Text Her?
Here are a few tips to keep in mind to get a better idea of when to text her back:
1. Don’t always be available – I can’t help but stress this enough. You do not want to seem too available just for her.
2. You don’t want to come off as needy
3. She is looking for a quality guy with a life
4. When in doubt wait the same length of time as she does
5. pay attention to the type of exchange you are having
Breakdown:
Number one is critically important
1. There are two main situations. The first is when a guy receives a text from a girl and always replies as soon as they can. The second is when the girl asks anything of him or even shows that she might be available and the guy will always make himself available even if it’s inconvenient.
By responding as soon as you can, which is usually immediately for guys with this problem, you run the risk of being seen as a creeper or needy. I will elaborate in point 2.
Always making yourself too available is something the typical “nice guy” often does. Learn more about this in our post on how to stop being a nice guy. Without being aware of how you behave this can be nearly impossible to ever see and change on your own. If you are having difficulties with girls and find yourself suggesting you are available even when it seems sudden or inconvenient I’ve got just the solution for you!
Here it is:
Diversify your life, find things you love to do that you can keep busy with. Work towards being a person who can really enjoy things in life just as much as that girl you like. Some things I like to do for example are write posts for, to help and learn with other people. When I am in the middle of writing I don’t stop to answer every I get; I am in my zone doing my thing and whoever needs me at the time will have to wait maybe 10 or 15 minutes because I get lost in it. With this in mind you might really appreciate checking out this post on what not to text a girl.
2. A girl can just tell when you are way too in to her and that can easily scare her off.
Here it is again:
You become more attractive when you appear to be a fun person who lives a normal life without being needy or obsessive.
3. While I do not agree with pretending not to be a creeper or needy it is still good and real advice to fill your life with more activities that you really enjoy. Doing so will allow you to be busier and not feel the need to respond right away. By investing yourself in a variety of things you will no longer feel such a gripping force causing you to respond to girls in a way that comes off as unattractive.
So When Do I Text Her?
Beginner:
4. The easy answer is when in doubt wait about the same length of time she takes to respond. So if she takes 10 minutes to respond, you take 10 minutes to respond. The main idea here is that you are no more available than she is so it should not stand out that you are putting in extra effort or being needy.
Keep in mind this is just a guide line that does work very well it is not a rule that needs to be followed. Ideally you want to develop a sense for when to text her back and this will change from situation to situation.
Advanced:
5. When you text a girl if she seems busy then you may not want to text back right away or even at all. If she seems really bored maybe you now have a good chance to start building attraction and being really fun and she won’t mind that you respond immediately. The key is just to pay close attention to the way she talks to you to get an idea of what the current situation is and when you should text back.
It may seem like I have overly explained such a simple idea, however I know I went through so much difficulty with this common texting mistake so others likely have to. The main take away is that both you and she are looking for a great person to be with. It just happens to be true that neediness and wanting her too much will be clear in ways she may not even consciously understand but still influence her level of attraction to you.
Thank you for reading my post on how to text a girl.
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good advice, especially for the teenage guys having trouble with girls
I think the time in between texts is key. Don’t come across as so bored that you are constantly responding immediately to her texts. Act like you are busy, even if you aren’t.
You have her number – give her a call instead and meet for coffee or something
Perfect. Texting is useful but calling is almost always better if you want to make something happen.